i missed lunch and dinner
i need to start eating more soon

i want a new earpiece
the 80 dollar one that i bought isn't loud enough
it can't filter out petty thoughts

i did love to kick myself hard mmm

i wrote down a name
and read it twice
i
wallow in shame

i, said that i love eternal schemes
i cling to my past
like childish dreams

Kept inside our idol race
ghosts of an idol's false embrace
rest your head now, don't you cry

i went downtown today with my daddy
we went walk walk at the small tiny sandy area near costa sands
though its small and retarded but yeahhh it makes u forgot stuff
temporarily only though
so we talked, about the past, future, fishing, and lots of other nonsense.

i picked up some seashells
something i had not done since.. probably primary 2 or 3.
it is so fun but bitter to reconnect a little with the lost

i made this song its called DARK BLUE SKIES. it has no lyrics yet though
i m gona think of a few lines tonight and try to record a little. mmmm

i think my brother, who is 5 years older than me is sad and retarded
he is probably the only person who i scold, and yes scold, scold
he is the only person i probably use vulgarities on
i am such a hypocrite

dammit im still sick
i probably have a nice 6 pack now

i feel sad and retarded now
summer's miles and miles away
no one would ask me to stay

i stood back and looked at the picture i painted
i have a family, i have friends, i have music, i have games
i have everything
yet sand trickles through all of it like slipping through the congested neck of an hourglass
im sure its just the mind, the mind, the mind, the mind, the mind, the mind

im beginning to see hypocrisy in its many forms, so amusing but disgusting

i am tired and feeeeling weakkkk
WEAKKKKK
urkkkk
urkkkk
urkkkk
HAJIIIIIIIIII
where is the meanningg urkkkurkkk
urkk
urkkk
lets make ourselves feel bitter
oh wait, im not bitter, im just unsweetened
lets make ourselves feel like we are the worst case scenarios
in the world

i've been trying to get down
to the heart of the matter
but my will gets weak
and my thoughts seem to scatter
but i think its about forgiveness
forgiveness, even if you tried to forget me

OHHHH im learning to live without you now
but i miss you sometimes
OHHHH AHHH
condom
just to throw us off the track somehow

arghhhhhhh

i have got this bad habit
i like to glance back repeatedly at the recent past
and regret and cringe at it ;(

i would like to hit myself so hard

okay lets work backwards,
regret = bad actions
bad actions = bad decisions
URKKRUURKKKK
I CANT MAKE DECISIONS
WOULD YOU LIKE TO DECIDE MY LIFE FOR ME
OH PLEASE DO

OH PLEASE BE THERE

NEXT

Infatuation with the black and white
Neon stripes on your thighs
We had all afternoon
But you were already frozen, like frankfurters
OH SHITTTT

i heard from someone you can wank up to 5000 times in your lifetime
5000
5000
5000

nEXT
chill ,
i have stopped SMOKINGGG

omg where did the fish go? The seesaw is contemplating
to wake itself up, and learn that, it is running out of oxygen
The ranger still has no arrows
HIDDEN MESSAGES